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1st panel – Scottish Trent* has some…interesting hands there. His right hand looks somewhat smaller than his left, the fingers of which are oddly pointy and lacking in features. Rin’s speech and thought bubbles also could have been separated better—I nearly missed the tail bridging them together.
But I did like the blurred background for the rest of brings the foreground into focus.
*I know his name, but “Scottish Trent” sounds way funnier to me. Also, no spoilers that way.
2nd panel – Pretty abrupt shift there. Rin goes from “such ignore very annoy wow” to “OMFG YAS CANDY” in the span of two panels. How quickly did she notice that Scottish Trent was about to offer her candy?
(blah blah blah requisite warning about candy and strangers blah blah blah)
COMMENTARY:
But no seriously, why was Rin so eager to accept some bonbons from a random guy on the street? ಠಿ_ಠ
Oh, and dollars to donuts the candy is magical or makes normies sensitive to magic.
Believe it or not, my hands are getting better. There’s going to be a lot of work/edits/redraws when it comes time to do a volume (if I ever get to do that).
The candy thing is abrupt. It’s poor set up for Rin’s love of candy and anything sweet. If Kanna didn’t hate the nickname “Candy,” I’m sure Rin would have gleefully called her that XD
<.<
>.>
Here’s an awful page from a crossover collab I did in 2018. Mostly only people who were part of the ComicFury Halloween Crossover that year saw this. I should keep it that way, but I’m a glutton for punishment XD She also sings this Iggy Pop song in that collab: https://youtu.be/6bLOjmY–TA
(Some of this is pertinent, I just wanted to share it XD)
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FEEDBACK:
1st panel – Scottish Trent* has some…interesting hands there. His right hand looks somewhat smaller than his left, the fingers of which are oddly pointy and lacking in features. Rin’s speech and thought bubbles also could have been separated better—I nearly missed the tail bridging them together.
But I did like the blurred background for the rest of brings the foreground into focus.
*I know his name, but “Scottish Trent” sounds way funnier to me. Also, no spoilers that way.
2nd panel – Pretty abrupt shift there. Rin goes from “such ignore very annoy wow” to “OMFG YAS CANDY” in the span of two panels. How quickly did she notice that Scottish Trent was about to offer her candy?
(blah blah blah requisite warning about candy and strangers blah blah blah)
COMMENTARY:
But no seriously, why was Rin so eager to accept some bonbons from a random guy on the street? ಠಿ_ಠ
Oh, and dollars to donuts the candy is magical or makes normies sensitive to magic.
Believe it or not, my hands are getting better. There’s going to be a lot of work/edits/redraws when it comes time to do a volume (if I ever get to do that).
The candy thing is abrupt. It’s poor set up for Rin’s love of candy and anything sweet. If Kanna didn’t hate the nickname “Candy,” I’m sure Rin would have gleefully called her that XD
<.< >.>
Here’s an awful page from a crossover collab I did in 2018. Mostly only people who were part of the ComicFury Halloween Crossover that year saw this. I should keep it that way, but I’m a glutton for punishment XD She also sings this Iggy Pop song in that collab: https://youtu.be/6bLOjmY–TA
(Some of this is pertinent, I just wanted to share it XD)