Dark Horse is rated Mature! Although a part of the "magical girl" genre, Dark Horse has nudity, swearing, sexual situations, and violence, as well as adult themes and situations. Reader discretion is advised.
3rd panel – Not sure if intentional, but you should consider moving it to the other side. Its current location in the bottom left corner isn’t intuitive for a left-to-right reading layout.
Yeah, you’re right. This used to read right to left, and I was in a hurry to flip pages. I needed to take the time to just redraw and rearrange panels (I was in a hurry to get things printed for Con+Alt+Del in 2019, which is not how you do things).
That’s fair! And you’re right to take pride in your work, and to want to share it with the world. It takes effort and time to tell a story, after all, and Dark Horse does promise a complex plot. (I’ve read stories that served only to showcase all the author’s inspirations and favorite works.)
By the way, how religious is Kanna? Specifically, how comfortable is she with using “God” in casual conversations, as she does here? I ask because her bio includes her religious affiliation, and while I’m not religious myself, I have a friend who prefers to use “gosh” instead as part of their Abrahamic religious practice. I’ve also seen how some people will spell “God” as “G-d”/”G*d”/etc or of deference to their deity of choice. (I’m being deliberately vague about Kanna’s religion to evade spoilers.)
Thank you :3
Actually, that is all very intentional. See page five where she exclaims “gah” vs here where she is quoting Genesis. To her, she’s comparing the creation of the world to how divine the ice cream is going to be XD She does it again in Act 2. I don’t know if I’ve had her say “gosh,” mostly since I want them both to sound a little valley-girl. Since it’s all caps for the text it’s less noticeable, I think. She says “Good Lord” later, but for her, it’s the context. Like she’s talking to “Lord” (“Lord give me the strength”) XD
Oh! And you can spoil her faith. It’s in the bio, and something that’s fine to know up front (not pertinent for it to be explicitly stated yet).
>that is all very intentional
>where she exclaims “gah”
>she’s comparing the creation of the world to how divine the ice cream is going to be
Ohhh, was that what it was? I actually thought she was just saying that to be cute! (I’ve heard people say things like “oh mah gah” as a joke, like Vinesauce Joel during his We ❤ Katamari streams.)
>I don’t know if I’ve had her say “gosh,”
From what I’ve seen so far, I don’t think so, but I could be wrong on that. I tend to think “oh my gah” fits Kanna more, though. It’s quirky.
>Oh! And you can spoil her faith. It’s in the bio, and something that’s fine to know up front (not pertinent for it to be explicitly stated yet).
Valid, and yeah, readers could always read the bio first…
On the other hand, and forgive me for mentioning this again, but I’ll admit I’d rather that authors avoid having readers in general learn important info about the characters/plot/etc primarily through commentary. In my view it goes against the whole point of telling a story, and at worst it can leave readers wondering why they shouldn’t just read the wiki* instead if they want in-universe knowledge that badly. You might want to consider incorporating some more subtle hints to Kanna’s religious identity when reworking the early arcs. Even something like a cross pendant or a reference (or two) to church services might help.
*If one exists for the Crystal Lotus Chronicles, at least.
Huh, I want to play Katamari, but I’ve never watched that Vinesauce Joel. Maybe I’ll check ’em out 😀
_________
I never said you needed to read her biography to know her faith. I brought up the bio just to say it’s publicly stated and not a spoiler. Can I quote myself?
And you can spoil her faith. It’s in the bio, and something that’s fine to know up front (not pertinent for it to be explicitly stated yet).
Because you said:
(I’m being deliberately vague about Kanna’s religion to evade spoilers.)
So I was reassuring you that there was no need for secrecy when discussing her faith. I don’t know how you jumped to the conclusion I said readers should read extra text, so the rest of your comment is your assertion being placed on me. I hate to argue semantics, but you’re totally shaming me for saying something I didn’t o_O
Hiding to keep comment shorter
Regardless, it IS in the text/images. Is it expressly stated? No. But there’s visual and verbal references. I dropped something in most of the acts (there are exceptions) that lead us up to what’s happening in Awakenings (you’ll see, but if you want to see the crappy old page, you can see it here. In the new one, I have her actually holding her rosary).
In the early pages, I drop the subtle hints, because I don’t want the reader to immediate slap a label on this as being religious propaganda. I want the readers to first relate to her as a teenager who’s just had some crazy shit dropped into her lap out of nowhere. Having said that, her last statement at the end of Act One is directly addressing the Biblical apocalypse and damnation. The apocalypse directly relates to Revelations, and “queen of the damned” is literally referring to the damned. I include her subtle language hints to back that up, in addition to seeing her rosary in Act 4: Transition. There’s other stuff, but I’m not going to list it here. I do think something that might help, is I can add a large crucifix on this page peeking into Kanna’s room, and that should help make it ab it more clear. But I can send you the pages where it’s referenced if you want. I won’t until you ask.
Even something like a cross pendant or a reference (or two) to church services might help.
No, not when we first see her. I’ll email you why this is such a poor stereotype to use for the character. Perhaps she could have a St. Christopher medal, but usually people like her would keep that fairly well hidden (except in Act 4 we see she’s flaunting it. An indicator of her morphing relationship with her faith, but also a sign she felt the need to have her rosary with her for the thing she was attending later that day).
>Since it’s all caps for the text it’s less noticeable, I think.
Nearly forgot to respond to this, but yes! I definitely didn’t realize that Kanna was saying “gah” as a substitute for “God” partly thanks to the font. But I still think “gah” works well either way.
It seems there’s some conflict between us right now.
>I never said you needed to read her biography to know her faith. I brought up the bio just to say it’s publicly stated and not a spoiler.
Yes, true. You never said the bios were required reading.
I should mention two other things:
1. I may have read the character profiles and most of the pages on this site at least twice, but I’m also trying to keep my comments limited to what I’ve seen up to each page where I leave feedback. It’s mainly so my remarks will be less likely to spoil the comic for anyone reading from the beginning who hasn’t seen the bios, since experience tells me that some people may not appreciate spoilers, accidental or otherwise.
2. I was raised and continue to identify as a non-spiritual atheist, andmost of the people around me are not openly religious or spiritual, if they adhere to such practices at all. There is a lot about everyday religious/spiritual practice that I will likely not notice or recognize. This is definitely a shortcoming of mine, albeit one I might be hard pressed to correct immediately.
>Is it expressly stated? No. But there’s visual and verbal references. I dropped something in most of the acts (there are exceptions) that lead us up to what’s happening in Awakenings (you’ll see, but if you want to see the crappy old page, you can see it here. In the new one, I have her actually holding her rosary).
I think you may want to fix the page you linked to here. I tried to view it a few times, but it seems like the image is broken? This is even after I disabled Adblock and Ghostery, so I’m not sure why it’s not showing up. Can’t really compare the pages if one of them is borked.
>In the early pages, I drop the subtle hints, because I don’t want the reader to immediate slap a label on this as being religious propaganda. I want the readers to first relate to her as a teenager who’s just had some crazy shit dropped into her lap out of nowhere.
Fair enough! I get the impression that your experiences with religion are way different from mine. That said…
>I include her subtle language hints to back that up, in addition to seeing her rosary in Act 4: Transition.
Gentle reminder: I’m trying to focus my feedback on what I’ve noticed on each page and the ones prior. This is so I don’t spoil the comic for anyone starting from the first page or influence their interpretations with details from subsequent arcs or the bios, which I can’t assume everyone will have read before they read the comments (mine or not).
>I’ll email you why this is such a poor stereotype to use for the character. Perhaps she could have a St. Christopher medal, but usually people like her would keep that fairly well hidden
You’re more than welcome to send your explanation for why it’s a stereotype, and I’m sorry for my poor choice of words. This is something I’m not well equipped to critique, given my shortage of experiences with Catholicism and religion in general.
Oh, and sorry for splitting hairs, but what’s the formatting for spoilers and quotes? I didn’t see any formatting guides in the comment field, and my prior experiences with formatting comments on WordPress haven’t been the most consistent.
I’m gonna have to respond via email. We’re talking in circles. Maybe we can figure it out there. Tomorrow. Or maybe the weekend.
The ComicFury page loads for me, and I didn’t link the new page because it’s only inked and I wasn’t asking for a comparison. But anyway, the CF page: https://darkhorse.thecomicseries.com/comics/337
You’re more than welcome to send your explanation for why it’s a stereotype, and I’m sorry for my poor choice of words. This is something I’m not well equipped to critique, given my shortage of experiences with Catholicism and religion in general.
It’s not necessarily a poor choice of words on your part in general: it’s an accurate stereotype of most Christians (sadly. Or not? I am reserving my judgements). I meant it was an inaccurate stereotype for this character specifically. And on that note, you deserve an apology for me not being more careful with my wording. I wasn’t intending to sound bitchy (honestly, I wasn’t). That’s what happens when I try to be quick.
Edit: anyway, email to come later because it’s passed 9pm and I’m tired.
Yeah, WordPress is garbage when it comes to many thing (alas, there aren’t a lot of options if you want something cheap or relatively cheap). Stackoverflow is fantastic, I find a lot of code there.
9 Comments
3rd panel – Not sure if intentional, but you should consider moving it to the other side. Its current location in the bottom left corner isn’t intuitive for a left-to-right reading layout.
Yeah, you’re right. This used to read right to left, and I was in a hurry to flip pages. I needed to take the time to just redraw and rearrange panels (I was in a hurry to get things printed for Con+Alt+Del in 2019, which is not how you do things).
That’s fair! And you’re right to take pride in your work, and to want to share it with the world. It takes effort and time to tell a story, after all, and Dark Horse does promise a complex plot. (I’ve read stories that served only to showcase all the author’s inspirations and favorite works.)
By the way, how religious is Kanna? Specifically, how comfortable is she with using “God” in casual conversations, as she does here? I ask because her bio includes her religious affiliation, and while I’m not religious myself, I have a friend who prefers to use “gosh” instead as part of their Abrahamic religious practice. I’ve also seen how some people will spell “God” as “G-d”/”G*d”/etc or of deference to their deity of choice. (I’m being deliberately vague about Kanna’s religion to evade spoilers.)
Thank you :3
Actually, that is all very intentional. See page five where she exclaims “gah” vs here where she is quoting Genesis. To her, she’s comparing the creation of the world to how divine the ice cream is going to be XD She does it again in Act 2. I don’t know if I’ve had her say “gosh,” mostly since I want them both to sound a little valley-girl. Since it’s all caps for the text it’s less noticeable, I think. She says “Good Lord” later, but for her, it’s the context. Like she’s talking to “Lord” (“Lord give me the strength”) XD
Oh! And you can spoil her faith. It’s in the bio, and something that’s fine to know up front (not pertinent for it to be explicitly stated yet).
>that is all very intentional
>where she exclaims “gah”
>she’s comparing the creation of the world to how divine the ice cream is going to be
Ohhh, was that what it was? I actually thought she was just saying that to be cute! (I’ve heard people say things like “oh mah gah” as a joke, like Vinesauce Joel during his We ❤ Katamari streams.)
>I don’t know if I’ve had her say “gosh,”
From what I’ve seen so far, I don’t think so, but I could be wrong on that. I tend to think “oh my gah” fits Kanna more, though. It’s quirky.
>Oh! And you can spoil her faith. It’s in the bio, and something that’s fine to know up front (not pertinent for it to be explicitly stated yet).
Valid, and yeah, readers could always read the bio first…
On the other hand, and forgive me for mentioning this again, but I’ll admit I’d rather that authors avoid having readers in general learn important info about the characters/plot/etc primarily through commentary. In my view it goes against the whole point of telling a story, and at worst it can leave readers wondering why they shouldn’t just read the wiki* instead if they want in-universe knowledge that badly. You might want to consider incorporating some more subtle hints to Kanna’s religious identity when reworking the early arcs. Even something like a cross pendant or a reference (or two) to church services might help.
*If one exists for the Crystal Lotus Chronicles, at least.
Huh, I want to play Katamari, but I’ve never watched that Vinesauce Joel. Maybe I’ll check ’em out 😀
_________
I never said you needed to read her biography to know her faith. I brought up the bio just to say it’s publicly stated and not a spoiler. Can I quote myself?
Because you said:
So I was reassuring you that there was no need for secrecy when discussing her faith. I don’t know how you jumped to the conclusion I said readers should read extra text, so the rest of your comment is your assertion being placed on me. I hate to argue semantics, but you’re totally shaming me for saying something I didn’t o_O
Hiding to keep comment shorter
Regardless, it IS in the text/images. Is it expressly stated? No. But there’s visual and verbal references. I dropped something in most of the acts (there are exceptions) that lead us up to what’s happening in Awakenings (you’ll see, but if you want to see the crappy old page, you can see it here. In the new one, I have her actually holding her rosary).
In the early pages, I drop the subtle hints, because I don’t want the reader to immediate slap a label on this as being religious propaganda. I want the readers to first relate to her as a teenager who’s just had some crazy shit dropped into her lap out of nowhere. Having said that, her last statement at the end of Act One is directly addressing the Biblical apocalypse and damnation. The apocalypse directly relates to Revelations, and “queen of the damned” is literally referring to the damned. I include her subtle language hints to back that up, in addition to seeing her rosary in Act 4: Transition. There’s other stuff, but I’m not going to list it here. I do think something that might help, is I can add a large crucifix on this page peeking into Kanna’s room, and that should help make it ab it more clear. But I can send you the pages where it’s referenced if you want. I won’t until you ask.
No, not when we first see her. I’ll email you why this is such a poor stereotype to use for the character. Perhaps she could have a St. Christopher medal, but usually people like her would keep that fairly well hidden (except in Act 4 we see she’s flaunting it. An indicator of her morphing relationship with her faith, but also a sign she felt the need to have her rosary with her for the thing she was attending later that day).
>Since it’s all caps for the text it’s less noticeable, I think.
Nearly forgot to respond to this, but yes! I definitely didn’t realize that Kanna was saying “gah” as a substitute for “God” partly thanks to the font. But I still think “gah” works well either way.
It seems there’s some conflict between us right now.
>I never said you needed to read her biography to know her faith. I brought up the bio just to say it’s publicly stated and not a spoiler.
Yes, true. You never said the bios were required reading.
I should mention two other things:
1. I may have read the character profiles and most of the pages on this site at least twice, but I’m also trying to keep my comments limited to what I’ve seen up to each page where I leave feedback. It’s mainly so my remarks will be less likely to spoil the comic for anyone reading from the beginning who hasn’t seen the bios, since experience tells me that some people may not appreciate spoilers, accidental or otherwise.
2. I was raised and continue to identify as a non-spiritual atheist, andmost of the people around me are not openly religious or spiritual, if they adhere to such practices at all. There is a lot about everyday religious/spiritual practice that I will likely not notice or recognize. This is definitely a shortcoming of mine, albeit one I might be hard pressed to correct immediately.
>Is it expressly stated? No. But there’s visual and verbal references. I dropped something in most of the acts (there are exceptions) that lead us up to what’s happening in Awakenings (you’ll see, but if you want to see the crappy old page, you can see it here. In the new one, I have her actually holding her rosary).
I think you may want to fix the page you linked to here. I tried to view it a few times, but it seems like the image is broken? This is even after I disabled Adblock and Ghostery, so I’m not sure why it’s not showing up. Can’t really compare the pages if one of them is borked.
>In the early pages, I drop the subtle hints, because I don’t want the reader to immediate slap a label on this as being religious propaganda. I want the readers to first relate to her as a teenager who’s just had some crazy shit dropped into her lap out of nowhere.
Fair enough! I get the impression that your experiences with religion are way different from mine. That said…
>I include her subtle language hints to back that up, in addition to seeing her rosary in Act 4: Transition.
Gentle reminder: I’m trying to focus my feedback on what I’ve noticed on each page and the ones prior. This is so I don’t spoil the comic for anyone starting from the first page or influence their interpretations with details from subsequent arcs or the bios, which I can’t assume everyone will have read before they read the comments (mine or not).
>I’ll email you why this is such a poor stereotype to use for the character. Perhaps she could have a St. Christopher medal, but usually people like her would keep that fairly well hidden
You’re more than welcome to send your explanation for why it’s a stereotype, and I’m sorry for my poor choice of words. This is something I’m not well equipped to critique, given my shortage of experiences with Catholicism and religion in general.
Oh, and sorry for splitting hairs, but what’s the formatting for spoilers and quotes? I didn’t see any formatting guides in the comment field, and my prior experiences with formatting comments on WordPress haven’t been the most consistent.
I’m gonna have to respond via email. We’re talking in circles. Maybe we can figure it out there. Tomorrow. Or maybe the weekend.
The ComicFury page loads for me, and I didn’t link the new page because it’s only inked and I wasn’t asking for a comparison. But anyway, the CF page:
https://darkhorse.thecomicseries.com/comics/337
The ink
https://imgur.com/a/sHdki7B
It’s not necessarily a poor choice of words on your part in general: it’s an accurate stereotype of most Christians (sadly. Or not? I am reserving my judgements). I meant it was an inaccurate stereotype for this character specifically. And on that note, you deserve an apology for me not being more careful with my wording. I wasn’t intending to sound bitchy (honestly, I wasn’t). That’s what happens when I try to be quick.
Edit: anyway, email to come later because it’s passed 9pm and I’m tired.
Yeah, WordPress is garbage when it comes to many thing (alas, there aren’t a lot of options if you want something cheap or relatively cheap). Stackoverflow is fantastic, I find a lot of code there.
Here’s what I found:
https://stackoverflow.com/questions/28615544/how-to-create-spoiler-text
It’s the coding with “details” and “summary” a bit further down the page.
I don’t know if it will let you edit with this. I could test it later.