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Prophecy published on 2 Comments on Prophecy

Welcome to Dark Horse, the first installment of the Crystal Lotus Chronicles!
Dark Horse follows the journey of two teens, Kanna and Rhina, and their group of warriors in their bid to save the world from an evil demon and her plans to unleash the Dark Horse, an ancient seven headed beast from age long passed…

I hope you enjoy the story as much as I enjoy sharing it! If you ever have questions or comments, I welcome you to leave your thoughts, or contact me!


One quick warning:

This comic has mature themes including foul language, nudity, sex, and violence. In later acts, there are also events which may trigger traumatic episodes for some readers. When we reach these acts, out of respect for anyone with these sensitivities, I will have the page automatically upload to a warning page that then links to the most recently updated page. There will also be a permanent warning page set before those acts for anyone joining us following publication of these acts.

And now, let us go where “man’s eyes have never set foot…”


I hope it doesn’t sound too harsh, but your story needs a LOT of work in the writing department. So much of Dark Horse makes so little sense to me, and I’ve read everything published thus far twice. Put it bluntly, you seem to have some issues with foreshadowing and introducing conflict without relying on Contrived Coincidence*.

I’ll be leaving comments in the coming weeks with my observations. Be warned that I don’t mince words when it comes to writing critiques, but know I speak only out of kindness.

*I am a big TV Tropes fan.

Hey there Ember Blaze!

I have a pretty tough shell, so I’m sure your critique may sting (critiques often do), but if you are taking the time to leave comments, I will take them into consideration and answer questions where I can.

I also thank you in advance for your time. While critique is not solicited, I actually do appreciate the time it takes and how much people invest in them. So I will think things over and work on improving in the future! (Some stuff may make more sense much later since time travel is involved, but that isn’t an excuse, so I welcome your comments).

Thank you for advanced warning and for your time!

*Your comments may take a bit of time to show, because I have to approve them individually due to spam/robot comments I get. I will try to approve them as fast as I can get to them, just FYI.

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